To Want, To Need
by LadyFangs
Summary: After the Credits: Needing does not mean having. And want is the greatest curse of them all. What happens between Sif and Thor after the bifrost is repaired? Sequel to "Where the Heart Is"
1. Chapter 1

**To Want, To Need**

**Chapter 1**

It has been a long time since she was truly happy.

The battles have been one of her few comforts-a replacement for contentment she rarely feels these days.

She can lose herself in the fight-the dance, the movement of the wind at her back, the cold feel of her sword at her hand; this is when she is at her best. Confident in her abilities, her skill as a warrior-she is supreme, and knows that almost no one can match her. She has been and remains in elite company.

Yet, as the time goes by, she grows restless. How can two people be so close, yet so far apart? She had believed it to be over, he had told her as much. Beneath the stars at night, he had whispered to her, in the height of passion had said words he'd never repeated…had it been a dream? Or was she a fool to _want _and wish so much?

As the winter began to warm, and the bifrost repaired-so did his hope. This she could not, would not take from him. But every time she saw his eyes on the stars, or watch as he gathered with Heimdall, she knew. As the trees again flowered and the first foals of Spring were born, as fresh rains washed away the last of the snow- she knew. And as Asgard celebrated the completion of the bridge in a feast- as Odin and Frigga looked on proudly, and Thor raised his hammer in triumph, it was Sif's turn to leave.

* * *

**FRIGGA**

She watches as her people rejoice, and notes that it has been too long since Asgard has felt a semblance of peace.

Her sons have wrought much damage-on themselves and their people. Frigga is not happy. Neither of her children have found peace, and because of that, her heart is still troubled.

She watches as one son rejoices-yet not for reasons the others may think. She silently prays Thor will find peace, eventually. Yet a part of her cries for Loki, chained and caged. It was not her wish.

Frigga wishes the bifrost had remained broken. She knows well what it means, and where Thor will go. She knows, as she looks at the figure of a woman slipping away silently, that Sif knows it too.

But as queen of Asgard, she cannot say such things aloud. She has a responsibility to her people. To her children. The seasons have changed. Yet she is wary. The wind is still too cold. All is not well within their realm.

* * *

**THOR**

That night he goes to her chambers to speak to her, to express to her all the things he is feeling. Yet when he arrives, the doors refuse to open for him.

It is unusual for her to lock him out, and he is concerned. He does what he has not had to do since they were children.

He knocks.

Silence.

He waits.

The doors part silently, allowing him passage.

Her chambers are sparsely furnished, the curtains drawn. His footsteps echo on the marbled floor as he walks in slowly. He has taken this path many times before, knows the way to her bed chamber. He is instantly shamed at his selfishness, for she knows him so well.

He pauses in the doorway, and sees the light coming from the privy.

"Come in, Thor."

Her voice floats toward him, and he cannot figure what to make of its tone. He steps inside and he sees her, a wall of steam floating around her as she washes, her back toward him, not looking up from her task.

She is beautiful. His eyes admire the sinuous curve of her back, her thick, long dark hanging in loose, wet curls. Slowly, he sheds his armor until he is naked behind her, under the water. She still has not turned to meet him.

He moves to wrap his arms around her, to put his face in her hair, to bring her body to his, to bring them both to completion and drown out the voice in his head telling him that this, this is all wrong-she stops him.

When she finally turns to face him- he sees something he has not seen in her since they were children. Since Loki cut her hair.

The Lady Sif is magnificent. She is a warrior. She is a friend. She has comforted him when he has been at his lowest. Tended his wounds-the physical ones and the ones that could not be seen. She has been nursemaid, and counselor. She has been lover and provider. And yet, as she faces him, her mouth still. Her eyes bright with the tears that have not yet fallen.

He realizes, not for the first time- that he has not done right by her.

And yet-with the promise of something he has yearned for so close-he wonders what he is doing right now. He hesitates.

She knows.

"We leave for Vanaheim tomorrow," he says, to her back.

"Is that what you came here to say?" she asks.

It is not, and both of them know it.

"I...need…" he cannot bring himself to ask this of her, he has done it too much.

"Leave," she commands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Bilkskirnir**

The walls of Bilskirnir hold secrets. For millenia they have stood sentinel over the gods of this world. They have watched as promises have been broken, blood spilled, families betrayed and hearts broken.

They have seen the joys of birth, the revelry of victory, the tragedy of death and the mischievousness of youth.

Bilskirnir knows all, and remains a silent witness.

* * *

**LOKI**

It is complicated.

Yet, because he has nothing but time on his hands, it is all he can think about.

They are brothers, and yet, they are not blood. The bond they share is too strong and yet, he despises it all the same. Despite his best intentions, he cannot deny this, and so he does what he must to conquer it.

He does so by making Thor suffer.

The son of Asgard is too stupid to realize or fully appreciate what he has. But Loki is not. He has inherited Odin's perceptiveness, and while he knows that she will never be his, it brings him perverse pleasure to know that he has been able to corrupt what Thor has long considered pure.

She has not come to him once during his incarceration, but he thinks of her often.

He remembers clearly the feel of her in his arms, her skin, soft again his mouth, her lips warm against his chest. He desires her.

Her weakness was his conquest and while she will never admit it- he knows she liked it too. A way to hurt Thor, a way to exert her own power. She does not know how much of it she has.

They were lovers once. But while he would have readily taken her as his bride, only her body was his to consume.

Thor is a fool to not realize what he has. But, as long as he chooses to remain blind, Loki will revel in the misery Thor chooses to bring to himself and to her.

She will suffer in love with a person who does not love her. And Thor will continue to use her, and ignore her, until it is too late. And by the time he does realize it, his pet mortal will be dead. And Sif will have moved on. Thor will be left alone to his misery. And Loki will laugh, because it will be the cruelest trick of them all.

* * *

**ODIN**

Had he been left to his own devices, Jane Foster would have been dead. This is not what he wanted for his son, to pine over a human woman, and to reject the one who is destined to be his queen.

He does not have anything against humans. Their race has protected mankind for millennia, and will continue to do so. But Odin knows how this will end.

He prays for Sif's patience. It is her destiny to rule and it will be so. The gods of their forefathers have ordained it. The stars have prophesied as such. She was born for Thor, and he for her.

Yet when he banished his eldest son, and stripped him of his immortality, he created something which he cannot undo. For the human in Thor loves a human. And the Asgardian prince, loves a princess. He has underestimated the power of human emotion and Asgardian obsession.

The two now coexist within one. This is what keeps Odin up at night,watching from a distance as Thor searches the stars for a sign,any sign, of a human woman- and goes back to bed by the side of his future queen.

He is angry at Thor in a way he cannot speak; angry at himself for creating an impossible situation.

It is unfair to Sif to have to stand by and watch, and wait, and cooperate and obey. It is unfair of Thor to ask this of her. And yet, for some reason, Odin is pleased when she does. He is relieved when Sif guards Jane and defends her.

He knows Sif does not do this for herself; She does it for Thor.

But he wonders when Thor will realize that what he has been searching for has been in front of his eyes the entire time.

A human lifetime is but a fleeting moment to an Asgardian, and Odin knows that Jane Foster will die, and Sif will still be there. For Asgard's sake, Odin _needs_ for Sif to still be there.


End file.
